Surprising the Folks in the Lab and Other Minor Updates

OK, so nothing skull-shattering today. Just a few more tidbits.

First of all, in nonhuman news, Ginny, my sweet, tumoriffic dog, is recovering quickly from the third surgery to remove a tumor on her face this year. (We hope this is the last one.)

After just a couple of days, she is asking for long walks, cheerfully licking clean the broiling pan, and happily lying next to me on the couch as I write this. I love dog attitude.

And, back to me.

When I spat out that piece of skull the other morning, I saved it in a little sterile cup that I keep next to the sink for just that purpose. (Who does that?!?!?) I called my ear, nose, and throat doctor, Hygeia, and told her about the surprise. She put an order in the computer, and I took my special treasure to the pathology lab at the hospital.

I came to a desk where people usually drop off pee or stuff like that, and they looked at me and said, "wait, wait, WHAT is that, again? WHERE did you say you got that?" (I get this sort of thing all the time.) After much jaw dropping and buggy eyes, they took it off to the path lab to brew in their special blend of herbs and spices.

Hygeia decided to get a CT scan of my skull to see what piece was newly missing. The question is whether some essential structure has just been exposed to the air and whether something else is about to fall off. I hope not. The CT will probably be next week. I'll tell you about it then.

Then, 2 days ago, I went to a previously scheduled appointment with my primary care doc. She happens to be one of the leading experts in care for cancer survivors, yet, even she was pretty stunned. (This is better than a lot of docs. They just think I'm making this stuff up.) We decided that, if there is actually some essential structure just about to be pulled apart, I might have to look for some surgeon crazy enough to do the equivalent of repaving the entire LA freeway system without disrupting rush hour traffic. Who knows, this could turn into a first class, edge of your seat, Tumoriffic adventure instead of the little joyride it is now.

Then, today, I got a message from Hygeia's office that my skull bit is growing all sorts of fancy bacteria with names like Nocardia, and Actinomyces, which sound like mythical ancient Greek beings. So, I have to talk to my ID buddy upstairs, JD. Frankly, I don't think there is much to do about it. It's not like you can antibiotics into dead bone. Besides, the bugs aren't really bothering me right now, so why bother them? But I'll do whatever JD says.

So, updates in a week or so. I hope all will be boring.

WHAT did you spit out again?!?

You Want a Piece of Me??? (NSFD--Not Safe for Dinner--really gross)

OK, I have to go to bed early tonight, but I had to update you all, because something very creepy happened to me this morning, and it's too fun not to share right away.

Now, this has happened twice before, but it never gets old. This morning, I was doing my usual nouching routine.* Usually, I spit out a bunch of schumtz and start my day. However, this morning, like a fragment of pottery, a little piece of bone showed up in my mouth and clattered on my teeth. It was dead--like a black and brown, crispy bit of sponge.

As I have said, this has happened twice before. I have had an absurd amount of radiation to the skull just behind my nose over my life, and, at some point, a chunk of skull just called it quits. Now, pieces of dead skull occasionally drop off, and I spit them out. It's almost as disgusting as chewing tobacco.

But, this is never routine. The part of my skull that got so fried is a superhighway of important nerves and arteries. I worry that someday, some chunk will come off and take something important with it. Maybe it would be an artery, which would be a dramatic way to go. (If that has to happen, I hope it happens at a party just after I said something really funny. What a performance!) The other possibility is that it would take out a bunch of nerves. That would make my uniquely sexy face even more suave than before, all saggy and 'thpeaking lige thith.'

Now, there are actually much more immediately important things going on in the family right now, but a little bit of skull for breakfast does make one a bit self-centered for a while.

This dog wishes you a happy dog day!