Today started very strangely. Here's some background:
Ever since my surgery and radiation in 2005, I have been unable to blow my nose effectively. So, every morning and evening, without fail, I rinse out my nose with over half a gallon of salted distilled water using a sinus rinse bottles.* I call this process "nouching."
Anyway, as I was rinsing this morning, I felt something hard and sharp behind my nose. I rinsed some more, and spit out a piece of my skull.
That's right. A piece of my skull. It's about a third of an inch to a side and more or less cubic. And holy plucking schmidt! It's a piece of my skull! And, it may surprise you, but it does not look healthy. It looks like peanut brittle (though less tasty) or pumice (though less useful for removing corns). I could probably crush it to powder between my finger and thumb. And did I say that it's from my skull?
What does this mean? Is my head about to collapse into a mass of bone powder and goo? Probably not. Although the appearance of a piece of my skull in the bathroom sink was an unpleasant surprise, I know that the big part of my skull between my nose and brain is dead. I'm not sure how that leaves me alive and more-or-less healthy, but my doctors have assured me that I am alive and am in reasonable health. I'm not sure they entirely know why either.
So, I left messages for my primary care doc, my local ENT doc, and my F'in Famous Cancer Hospital ENT doc. One nurse I spoke to said, "wow. That's different!" To say the least. I've heard back from Dr. Hygiea, Greco-Roman Goddess of otolaryngology, *** and she wants me to get a CT scan. That will have to wait.
See, I am currently spending the week in the British Virgin Islands. I called around. There is one ENT doc in the whole country. He might be able to see me in March. He will be in for emergencies tomorrow, but he'll be away for a week after that. So, if my brain lining rips and my CSF leaks onto my shoes, or if my head collapses onto my spine so that I am a human bobble-head, I'll have to get air-lifted to St. Thomas or San Juan.
I'm actually not really worried. This is just the sort of thing that happens when you have a large chunk of dead bone in the middle of your head. Really, the dangerous part is that dead bone, like a splinter, can fester and cause infections. So, all else being equal, the more of it that comes out, the better. It's like Mom always said, "better out than in."
Tomorrow, I'll go snorkeling and look for whales.
* By the way, I recommend this wholeheartedly to my patients. If you have a cold, sinusitis, or allergies, rinsing helps clear out the gunk. Do it as much as you can stand. The concept is disgusting, but, sometimes, it can help you avoid antibiotics, and involves no toxic products whatsoever. ENT docs love them. http://shop.neilmed.com/Products/Sinus-Rinse. The salt packets can be expensive, but pharmacies have started selling generic versions which are cheaper.
** I'm certainly not about to carry a giant jug of water on top of my head like some women in Africa. That could get ugly.
*** This is a pseudonym.
Here's a baby gray whale checking us out in 2013. We're looking for humpbacks tomorrow. I hear there's a newborn nearby.