Monday, October 3, 2016

Early Cancellation Cancelled

Good news! This Tumoriffic series will not be cancelled for the foreseeable future! Bad news! At least, provisionally.

The pathologists Droopy and Pokey, after a firm talk from Dr. Skully, put out their doobies, washed their hands and got to work.* They have pronounced my cauliflower "suspicious for invasive squamous cell carcinoma." (Gee, guys, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!)** This is a lot firmer than the Wicked Famous Cancer Hospital pathologist's "lots of grody stuff" reading.

So, what's on the menu? I anticipate a return visit to Famous Squamous! And, just maybe, a visit to Dr. Zap, the radiation oncologist who burned out my skull last time! And, at some point within the next few weeks, we will return to the Big Fruit and meet a shiny new oncologist (alias TBA)! Maybe they'll talk me into more surgery, and I'll get to see Dr. Skully again. I really don't want surgery, but she was a very pleasant person, so there's that.

And, if the surgery turns up bad news? No mere squeamish cell farcinoma?*** What does that mean for you? More untold Tumoriffic adventures! More hair-raising (and, perhaps, hair-losing) escapades! More side effects! Maybe some exotic infections! Chemo like you've never seen! It's gonna be YUGE!****

Be well,


* I really am just joking when I make fun of pathologists. They're highly valuable professionals. I admire them! Heck, some of my best friends are pathologists!

** Yeah, yeah, I know. This is the opposite of what I was saying early early this morning, but, hey, a guy gets to be inconsistent sometimes.

*** Geeze, Blogspot! Not only have you still not figured out that "squeamish" is a real word, you haven't learned "farcinoma." Yes, I invented it just a few days ago, but it's trendy!

**** Really, Blogspot? You recognize "yuge," but you don't recognize "squeamish?"

Two living muppets to lighten the darkening mood

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