Sunday, April 1, 2012


Yup! They called me today, on a Sunday, no less, to announce the identity of the mysterious entity from the middle of my head. It's a Dick Cheney Homunculus! That's how they reproduce.

With thousands of siblings at a time, the microscopic, agamogenetic Dick Cheney larva exits a specialized orifice in the parent and becomes airborne. Inhaled by a susceptible host, it sheds its calyx and pupates in the host's clivus. There it will grow for fifteen months. Then, depending on the time of year, it will eventually either burst full grown from the head like a neocon, sex-changed, foul-mouthed Athena, or it will possess the host's body. The primary symptoms of the latter are the acquisition of a fake Texas accent (particularly in Yankee Brahmin) and the irresistible urge to start wars for no good reason.

Made you look! Final pathology won't be back for another week-and-a-half or so.

Happy April 1st.

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